A big mistake ...

Never though I would be here in a situation like this one ...
I have made many mistakes over the past few months, I really wish I could have a re-do. One of my biggest mistakes though was leaving a church. I was going through a hard time in life and instead of trying to lean on the people there for support, I pushed them away. I loved them very much and should not have taken them for granted. After not going for a few weeks I had a lot of phone calls and texts asking where I was, I just thought they were doing that because someone had told them to. I never answered the calls or replied to the texts. I was being stupid. About a month after leaving I went back to visit for a friend's last night. Some people were happy I was there others seemed mad that they even heard my voice. It hurt and I told myself I was not going back there ever. Next thing you know I am on the completely wrong track. I was failing school, involved in things I should not have been, I turned my backs on my friends, and started turning my back on my dream I have been working hard for. I had done the same thing when I was younger. How could I make the same mistake again? I went back one more time when I had to talk to a friend. She got me to stay for a little bit and the same thing happened, some people were happy to see me, others were completely disgusted. Did the same thing, ran off and said I was never going back. Of course that did not work. I went back one Sunday morning to help a friend, the other two times i went, it was to the youth group. This Sunday morning though, I felt welcomed. I felt like I was loved and people wanted me there, of course there was a few people who I still feel don't want me there, but it was a whole lot better then feeling like no one wanted me there. I thought about everything that happened and decided that I was acting like a fool. I never should of left. I should of stayed with the people that loved me, the amazing people that were always there for me. I made a mistake and now i am going to try and fix it. I would like to go back. I am really scared though. All these questions are going through my head ... will they accept me back? what will they say about me? will they treat me the same? are they going to love me again? I am really scared but I brought this on myself, and now i have to fix it.


IF YOU GO TO CLC: I know I have been really stupid. I apologize to all of you. If I have hurt you in any way, I am sorry. Please give me a second chance. I know when i first come back everything won't be the same but I hope we can build our friendships back up to where they use to be. I hope you will accept me back into the family. I am really sorry. I love everyone of yall.